Easy

Easy

You make it look so easy. She said

It’s not easy.

It may be simple but it is not easy.

Today has been a struggle.

I go back and forth.

I am angry at what I perceive as a lack of attention and respect.

I don’t want to drink but I’ve had too much to think and it is pulling me back and forth.

I’ve tried to distract myself with chocolate, cheese, Triscuits and coffee.

But there is a deeper desire.

A craving for intimacy.

A passion postponed.

I don’t even comprehend the need.

But there is a need, desire, desperation. And the fight to say no.

No to the quick fix.

Actions have consequences.

What really is the need?

A glimpse of a prospect?

A glimpse of how life can be?

Now, like some sack has been thrown over possibility.

Like running back and forth on a teeter totter trying to seek equilibrium.

I am not comfortably numb.