Easy You make it look so easy. She said It’s not easy. It may be simple but it is not easy. Today has been a struggle. I go back and forth. I am angry at what I perceive as a lack of attention and respect. I don’t want to drink but I’ve had too much to think and it is pulling me back and forth. I’ve tried to distract myself with chocolate, cheese, Triscuits and coffee. But there is a deeper desire. A craving for intimacy. A passion postponed. I don’t even comprehend the need. But there is a need, desire, desperation. And the fight to say no. No to the quick fix. Actions have consequences. What really is the need? A glimpse of a prospect? A glimpse of how life can be? Now, like some sack has been thrown over possibility. Like running back and forth on a teeter totter trying to seek equilibrium. I am not comfortably numb.
Blue Her blue eyes held the sorrow of the ocean Deep an unending The pain submerged The feeling of worthlessness The hurt The fear Years in the making Longing for release But afraid of letting go Of the only thing she knew Guarding her scars I looked into her Met and felt her pain Palpable across the gap between us I wanted to climb inside her fortress So she wouldn’t be alone You’re not alone I’m here We are here You are not alone You have been I know I’ve been alone too But we are not alone This is real This is where we tell the truth In truth we take our power back Our lives back Our stories back Back from our past Back from our flaws Back from our fears of being found out Back to our selves Never alone No longer sealing off the truth We were so desperate to hide Now breathe Light Breathe
Impenetrable? darkness, pierced by light transforms to a beacon for those still suffering souls Naked in the waters of redemption I implore you to let me in don't let go Faith that whatever comes forth will be as it shall be My truth the key to my release My burden broken open exposed to light Over 30 years in the making I was afraid And afraid to admit my fear It controlled and propelled me to near ruin But I wanted to live I looked in the mirror at what I had become and I cringed This was not me Where was I I wanted to live I didn’t want my life back I wanted to live
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