I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT








I don’t know why I did it

I guess I was looking for a way not to think.

Not to acknowledge I was just a purposeless blob.

“Why not?” was more of the thought for me?

It wasn’t like me. But I wasn’t me.

At the point I was making drinking the focus of my life,

I didn’t like me.

And the greatest irony was I was in such a beautiful place, Vermont.

I had dogs and a cat and a partner to drink with.

But the time to fill

The lack of will

The constant question of what are we going to drink tonight?

Jim Beam, Smirnoff, Canadian Club while binge watching Mad Men.

And those were my friends. the people on TV.

The people, who could not see me.

The people I could visit with, and then

Make them leave.


Written: 8/22/2017


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